Chaddleworth, Sunday 12th July 2020

30 Over Match: Inkpen beat Chaddleworth by 1 wicket (Chaddleworth 116 all out in 19.3 overs, Inkpen 118/9 in 29.3 overs)

Team: Dave Lester (Capt), Jeff Hutchinson, Ian Dixon, Richard Mitchell, James Wooldridge, John Donohoe, Patrick Lowe, Wayne Knape, Steve Angus, Doug Hall, James Hall

Report from Dave Lester…

It was on a lovely Sunday afternoon in Chaddleworth that Inkpen CC had its first game of the delayed 2020 season. All decked out in their sparkling new, Christian Alba sponsored cricket shirts, the Inkpen team looked smart and ready for the off. That was all except Ian Dixon, whose wife apparently buys cheap washing powder. His whites were FILTHY. Inkpen won the toss and chose to field; this was a great choice by the ginger captain who then realised he’d be stood in the burning afternoon sun – never a good combo. We were pleased to welcome the birthday boy Jeff Hutchinson as he got to wear the pink hat of shame. So as Dave Lester applied goose fat to his pink bits, Wayne Knape limbered up for the first over and what a beauty it was…. for the batsman as the deliveries went for 4 then 6 then 3 so 13 off the first over, and the Chaddleworth man who hit 100 plus last year was going strong again. But lo, Inkpen had a cunning plan… use the youngest team member to open the bowling from the other end so up stepped James Hall to show Wayne how it should be done… and the brakes were applied a bit. Although with Wayne applying Deep Heat to every muscle it was unclear how much he saw of the second over. By the fourth over Chaddleworth were 31 for 0, and looked on for a HUGE score with the ball being smashed everywhere until the father/son combo of the Hall’s combined to remove the danger man as Doug Hall senior beautifully hung onto a powerful cut by the Chaddleworth skipper. This was the catalyst for Inkpen to turn their reputation upside down as deadly fielding saw a massive 7 catches taken. Inkpen would have had more catches except James Hall and birthday boy Jeff had clearly applied too much sanitizer as they shelled straightforward chances as they fought over the pink hat of shame. With Dicko’s bowling being dirtier than his trousers and shirt, ending with figures of 4 wickets for 4 runs off 3.2 overs – yes, that’s right, don’t let your eyes deceive you, Dixon was tearing it up. Even Dickie ‘Gazelle’ Mitchell was at it with a stumping, boundaries were being stopped and Inkpen looked like a team possessed, throttling Chaddleworth to 116 all out in 19.2 overs. Never had anyone seen anything like it… maybe. 117 needed to win off 30 overs…

Buoyed by their great effort in the field and with no tea (thank you COVID-19!) to slow them down even village royalty had arrived to witness the spectacle with Lady Jane and Sir Andy Zollo gracing the team with their presence. Away support? Unusual to say the least. So out went the 2 reluctant openers: James ‘Flight Lieutenant’ Wooldridge and Pat Lowe, with Inkpen thinking that an easy victory would be sealed. Oh how wrong we were! Anything Dicko could do, the Chaddleworth opening bowler could do better… including a hat trick and yes, the skipper himself, the ginger ninja was out for a golden duck. It was rumoured that the unavailable Mr Glitz could be heard shaking his head in some foreign lands knowing full well what the skipper was trying to do first ball… shwwwinngggg… clatter… out! Inkpen had been reduced to 12 runs for 5 wickets off 6 overs. It seemed that the brave new Inkpen CC had resumed normal service once again proving we are THE experts at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. But wait… time for the most immovable object known to cricket, Dickie ‘Tortoise’ Mitchell to drop anchor, supported wonderfully by young Mr John Donohoe with a lovely 22 to get Inkpen back into the game. When JD was superbly caught and bowled by the Chaddleworth skipper (was there anything that guy couldn’t do?) Inkpen had moved the score past 50 with plenty of overs in hand. What we really needed was for the bowling team to help us and so they did, gifting Inkpen 30 extras! But wickets were falling regularly…. our international oversees player Steve ‘Mange Tout’ Angus at least managed to score the first runs with the new club bat (on its 5th trip to the crease). Dicko joined the duck club with the 4th duck of the innings, but a quickfire 13 from Wayne took the target down to 26 as the last man James Hall strode out to bat. By now the team WhatsApp was red hot as ball by ball text commentary was relaying the run chase to Mr Glitz on the Isle of Wight, to Mr Marston on the tarmac at Krakow airport, to Lord and Lady Zollo already back in Inkpen and other unbelieving, unavailable squad members. 18 needed from 24 balls… 13 needed… 10 needed from 18 balls… Chaddleworth brought their pace man back but James and Dickie stood firm… dot… dot (slower ball)… dot… 1… a wide… and on to the last over. 4 to win… 1… dot… an LBW appeal (not out, phew)… dot… and all games as tense, nervous and nail biting as this one should be finished in style so up stepped Dickie ‘cover drive for four’ Mitchell to smite the winning boundary, giving Inkpen CC a memorable first victory of the season as well as a match winning top score of 38 not out.