Leg Rovers, Thursday 6th August 2020

30 Over Match: Leg Rovers beat Inkpen by 27 runs (Leg Rovers 144/7 in 20 overs, Inkpen 117/8 in 20 overs)

Team: Dave Lester (Capt), Wayne Knape, Patrick Lowe, Jamie West, Richard Broer, Simon Darke, Simon Hanna, Ian Dixon, Josh Donohoe, Milo Darke, Sam Eadie

Match report by Dave Lester…

It was a beautiful evening, the music was ready thanks to the Glitz girls and the umpires Tim “Hi love, I’ve been roped into umpiring” Marston and Stu “I’ve realised I should never have left Inkpen” Walker were ready. Making it the perfect time for a bit of T20 action against Leg Rovers, a group of lovely lads from all over who come together to play teams just like us, so with that in mind we thought this might be a close game (no future England superstars on this week’s team sheet).

So with the sun setting over West Berks and the Inkpen team sheet team finally sorted out (after a day of more ins and outs than an Inkpen innings) not all of the opposition had arrived. The home team captain Dave “does this mean I haven’t lost the toss” Lester allowed Leg Rovers to bat first and with a cunning plan to get some overs in quickly it was Dave “the pie man” Lester to open the bowling and what a spell it was. The first 3 overs had the bails off (okay, okay, the batsman took a huge swing, completely missed it and the bails fell off) then a blinding (only because the sun was shinning straight into his eyes) caught and bowled. At the other end Pat “Warne” Lowe was also taking wickets. Inkpen were off and running, but unfortunately so was the run rate, up to 60-3 off 5 overs.

As a result it was time to hand over to Eian “the salmon” Dixon who was not only bowling his usual 5 bad balls / 1 good un to take a wicket, but was flying around in the slips taking catches for the youngsters Sam “the skipper used to bowl like you” Eadie and the youngest member of the team who was following in the footsteps of his older brothers, Milo “I’m so much better than Archie” Darke. With the youngsters including Josh “England’s number one” Donohoe stopping everything behind the stumps, they were all making a case to get a regular spot in the Inkpen team. Of course Milo’s and Sam’s inclusion is subject to Simon “super agent” Darke’s fees being finalised.

Of course, no bowling innings would be complete without the old timer Wayne “first wicket of the season” Knape having a bowl and with Leg Rovers ending with a total of 145/7, Inkpen were in with a shout, or perhaps more of a whimper.

With the light fading fast, Inkpen set about chasing down the total. With Wayne “how am I still standing?” Knape and Pat “no chance of a single” Lowe opening, it was the familiar story as Inkpen started to lose wickets quicker than pads could be applied by the waiting batsman. No wicket however could have fallen as strangely as the skipper’s (Doug Hall this one is for you). Facing his second ball, a leg side dolly, the ball seemed to forget it was in a game of cricket and decided that it wanted to know how a marble felt on a marble run. So off it went up the leg onto the waist eventually reaching the dizzy heights of the skippers shoulder, over it went down his back with enough top spin on it to send it back towards the stumps. Like a slow motion VAR check, it tickled the stumps, knocking one bail off. Off went Dave “I didn’t even swing” Lester, still trying to work out what had happened.

With 5s and 6s being scored before wickets fell, it was up to Wayne “my body can’t carry the whole team” Knape hitting a valiant 23 and Simon “not hit quite hard enough” Hanna hitting a quick fire 18 not out. With no dodgy LBW decisions this week from John Donohoe or Archie Darke, Inkpen made it to within touching distance, however they finished 27 runs short on 117/9 as the sun dropped behind the trees. Another defeat is marked into the record books, however this is one fixture that I believe will be pencilled in for next year, as long the organiser Mark “I forgot I was away” Harrison picks a date that he can actually make.

Onto the next one, St Mary Bourne at home, and with the skipper off on his hols it’s up to Eain “what could possibly go wrong” Dixon to lead the troops, and of course whatever the result he will provide you with a literary masterclass in the match report.