Wilcot, Sunday 4th July 2021

30 Over Match: Wilcot beat Inkpen by 32 runs (Wilcot 156/6 in 30 overs, Inkpen 124 all out in 27.2 overs)

Team: Dave Lester (Capt), John Donohoe, Ian Dixon, James Hall, Doug Hall, Richard Mitchell, Martin Chester, Phil Day, Tim Marston, Jeff Hutchinson, Michael Margetts

Match report by Dave Lester…

Listening to all the talk this weekend around the village of a very important sporting fixture this weekend, its my pleasure to bring you the match report from that sporting fixture Inkpen vs Wilcot. Now before I bring you the action from our game against our old friends, last time you were reading a match report, we had just completed a fine victory to extend our run to 2 games unbeaten, well we have played another (very wet) game since then which was a 20/20 against Hungerford. Now apparently according to Dave “milking the sore toe still” Glitz 20/20’s don’t count, well thanks to Dave “no more ducks this season” Lester hitting 50 not out and a fantastic bowling display (ok ok so they batted in the dark and rain), Inkpen managed to win another making it 3 in a row… Yes readers 3 in a row… Unbelievable Jeff. Now according to the “Older” players and we have a few, this feat has never been achieved in the modern era, so well done everyone its great to see us on the up. Now back to Sunday could we make 4 in a row, well if we could forget “it’s coming home” I think Simon “ooh new rollers on my lawn mower” Hanna will be heard singing as he mows “another one bites the dust”.

So for the first time this year the toss was conducted using an actual coin, thanks to Doug “I only deal in gold coins” hall for supplying this and for the first time it didn’t go the way of Inkpen and we were put into the field. Now given it has rained non stopped getting any sort of playable strip has been a challenge and it has to be said the surface was rather pudding like, which for the opening bowlers we didn’t mind as many of their deliveries don’t hit the deck anyways. So with John “my physio said I could play” Donohoe returning to open the bowling it didn’t take long for him to show us want we had not really missed, by taking the first wicket. Alongside him, Dave “did you see that first ball turn” Lester providing a steady 6 overs and Ean “sorry I’m late I was drinking in the pub… again” Dixon kept the run rate low, with Wilcot reduced to 51-1 off 15. Unfortunately for Inkpen once James “I’ll get some bounce out of this pudding” Hall had removed another batsman with the aid of Richard “yes this one carried” Mitchell taking a smart catch, Wilcot were 94-3 off 20 and the Wilcot big guns arrived, smashing it around. They paid particular attention to Martin “I’ve actually never bowled so bad but I somehow I still get a wicket thanks to my skipper” Chester, and Jeff “oh yes that’s right you did tell me I was bowling 5 mins ago” Hutchinson and in a few short overs with a short sharp shower to break things up Wilcot had gone to 134-3 off 24. Now just like any of the top teams in sport that go on unbeaten runs, Inkpen’s squad is vast and this week we were able to call on our new international signing in Michael “can I get the maggot on the back of my tee shirt” Margetts, now unfortunately for Inkpen the limping Scotsman was more akin to holding a golf or rugby ball, however on his debut thanks to him ignoring the skipper and standing where he wanted, he took a wonderful catch to remove the danger man this was quickly followed by 2 more wickets with Wilcot ending on 156-6 off their 30 overs.

Now normally I try to write these reports in chronological order however there were two very fine pieces of fielding that I feel should be given a special mention first off all Tim “there’s a hole in my knee” Marston attempted the long barrier, only to realise that if you’re not going to get your hands to it, then your body should stop it. Unfortunately the “realisation” part came after he let it through his legs and it went for four. Always the one to provide some training Martin “aww did you see how fast that came at me” Chester decided that he should show Tim how to get your body behind it, unfortunately for Inkpen he was suppose to catch it with the hand part of his body rather than the stomach part, slightly more unfortunately it was the big gun batsman who then went on to hit 50.

So with another wonderful tea provided this week by Sonya Donohoe with the help or hindrance of John and 157 the target, it would have been a father and son opening pair, however Claire “I clearly don’t mind my son facing opening bowlers, but defo not my husband” Hall wouldn’t allow this, something about protecting Doug’s good looks. So it was up to our now settled opening pair of James “can I just be number 2 for one week please” Hall and Ean “can I keep the duck hat please” Dixon to get Inkpen going. UMMMM “going” is probably not the word to use as no sooner had Ean “let’s make this duck competition close again skipper” Dixon got his pads and gloves on, he got out for you guessed it… NOUGHT. So was the skipper to carry on where he was so cruelly stopped the game before or was he to go out in front of the duck race once again. The Answer… the first one, after securing a quick single and celebrating like he had won the Euros, Dave “let’s have some quick 2’s” Lester and James “can we stop running quick 2’s, I’m tired” Hall ( James is 14, I’m 36) started to get the score board ticking, and much to the delight of his fellow batsman Dave “ok I’ll just hit boundaries” Lester started to attack taking Inkpen to 49 off 7. It was then that James “I cant keep up with these old uns” Hall decided that he needed a rest and got himself caught and bowled for 16, enter the much more agile, fitter and wiser Phil “you’ve put me at what number to bat?” Day to support the skipper who was racing towards his 2nd 50 in as many games (not sure I’ve mentioned it). However with the score 85 off 13 Dave “Dave Lamb, your pads are obv magical 2 x 50’s since you gave them to me” Lester holed out to the deep ending up on 60 and Phil “I’ve hit one run that’s enough” Day was bowled for 1. Even though 2 quick wickets had fallen surely Inkpen had this in the bag on 110 for 4 off 20, but as regular readers are aware Inkpen CC never does “in the bag”.

However with John “ooohh I’ve got a new bat and I will knock it in with a mallet, 2 inches behind the scorers head” Donohoe (yes JD I did notice whilst batting – if Claire’s looks could kill) and Richard “this is my type of batting wicket” Mitchell, Inkpen had a fighting chance… or so they thought, what actually occurred were the last 2 boundaries of the game from John “ooohhhh that last min knocking in really helped” Donohoe before he was bowled for 16 and then the famous Inkpen collapse returned. However the small crowd and the skipper that had braved the showers were hoping that Michael “I’m better with a 4 iron” Margetts could show them some of that famous Scottish swing, that can land a golf ball anywhere he wants… (or so he claims), unfortunately golf balls aren’t moving when you try to hit them. So 3 balls and 2 runs… yes he actually hit 2 runs he was out and with Richard “not really your batting wicket is it Dickie” Mitchell falling for a slow (he wouldn’t have it any other way) 20. Inkpen were all out for 124 of 27.2 overs, scoring 14 runs off the last 7 overs and quite reassuringly returning to their old ways, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Although we couldn’t stretch our unbeaten record to 4 games, it’s all about friends and strangers coming together to enjoy an afternoon in the sun… ok in the showers (Ed. – that really doesn’t sound right). We are at home to Boxford on the 11th and hopefully the next time I write one of these classics “It has come home” and we have all danced in the street, banged pots, tooted horns and waved flags, and if Inkpen do win again this season, I and the rest of the team fully expect the same response. Good luck England.