East Anton, Sunday 16th April 2023

30 Over Match: Inkpen beat East Anton by 3 wickets (East Anton 139/5 in 30 overs, Inkpen 140/7 in 23.1 overs)

Team: Dave Lester (Capt), James Hall, John Donohoe, Mark Robinson, Josh Donohoe, Ian Dixon, Graham Dixon, Russell Webber, Darren Durham, Wayne Knape, Milo Darke

Match report by Dave Lester…

With the coronation of the King falling on the weekend that Inkpen had a game planned, it was only right that we moved the fixture forward to allow all of our fans the chance to watch both occasions. Our first game of the season was the earliest we have ever played and thanks to the foresight of Simon “ Build it and they shall play on it” Hanna to install an Astro turf strip 2 years ago, we were not defeated by all the rain we have had. With that said it was definitely a “ 2 jumpers’ day” so with jumpers at the ready or in Claire’s “ I think we need to get her a blanket” hall’s case 2 jumpers, 1 coat and a very warm Labrador around her feet. Before play could commence, we needed to install the new batteries into the new Zinger Bells ….. (yes, Richard “ I hate anything that isn’t traditional cricket” Mitchell we have new light up bells), With these in place we were ready to go. Ahhh but wait I hear regular readers of these reports say, did Dave “ there must be a coin somewhere” Lester finally manages to win the toss…… Ummm No I didn’t and as a result we were put into the very muddy, cold and bumpy field.

Now with it being so early and a lot of the team still trying to convince themselves that kid’s football and rugby on a Sunday morning is a good thing, we had to call in the youngsters for this fixture. This included Milo “ wow you used to be the small one” Darke who alongside Russell “you’re not in the young category… sorry” Webber opened up the formidable Inkpen bowling attack. With both bowlers starting off the season in a very tidy fashion and with the added bonus that the outfield was what I would call pudding like, boundaries were hard to come by and with the batsman having to run…. (Yes run, none of the over 20’’s was looking forward to that bit when Inkpen batted) after 10 overs East Anton were 39 without loss. With the first bowling change bringing Ian “ only person to make the new bails flash at training when batting and bowling” Dixon and Wayne “ yes I really am 50” Knape there was renewed hope that the first wicket of 2023 would fall and how close we came, but as many of you will know Inkpen cc haven’t always managed to complete the catch part of catching a ball and so the first chance went begging with Russell “ I’m sure I can use my belly instead of my hands to catch it” Webber putting it down which resulted very quickly in the hat of shame, which at the this point was adorning the head of the birthday boy John “ I’m much calmer since taking up cross fit” Donohoe being swiftly passed on to Russell. However it would not stay there for long as yours truly Dave “ look at my shiny non taped up spikes” Lester decided that he too would get in on the act, however rather than just a simple drop, I decided that it was me that was going to hit the floor first, as the ball flew off the bat and appeared from the spring blossom into my eye line I attempted to adjust my feet ready to receive the adulation for a fantastic catch. The realty was I took one step back straight into a large hole ended up on my derriere whilst trying to kick the ball away from the boundary which I was unsuccessful in doing. Whilst I blamed the new spikes, Russell and the rest of the team felt that it was a hat of shame moment. One person who wasn’t going to be wearing the hat of shame however was Mark “ jack leach” Robinson who had come on at the Pitch roller end to bamboozle the opening batsman and bamboozle he did, with his second over and drinks ( sorry I forgot the Juice) waiting patiently on the boundary, Mark “ first wicket of the season “ Robinson trapped the opener LBW, East Anton were 59-1 after 15 overs.

Inkpen alongside a very helpful outfield were keeping the score down, However as avid readers of these match reports are aware Inkpen don’t stay on top long and with Wayne “ will one of you just catch the damn thing” Knape finishing his spell the visiting batsmen were beginning to rack up the runs, reaching 90 off 20 overs. Now in all forms of sports there are moments that turn the game one way or another, in this instance enter Dave “ The pie man” Lester to throw down some of his delicious Frey bentos, and what an impact he had 2 balls into the new campaign and the skipper aka “ pie man” had served up another steak and ale delight, however it wasn’t all down to me with Josh “ Aaron Ramsdale” Donohoe ( he’s a spurs fan, he’ll hate that) stopping everything, he threw himself to his right to claim a wonderful catch….. well, I say it was wonderful I was too busy looking at the umpire appealing for LBW to witness it, but apparently the batsman hit it as well and as Josh did such a great job of showing us all how to catch a ball, we put the wicket down as caught. However, that was not then end of the heroics with the big hitters lining up , the chicken and mushroom was next out the hand 3 balls later and this time it was a success story for Russell “ thanks for showing me how to do it Josh” Webber who composed himself to hold on to a high one, Inkpen were on a roll and on top, 95-3 with 9 overs remaining. It could have been so much better for Dave “ the pie man” Lester if Milo “ I don’t know my name” Darke and Russell “ I don’t know mine either” Webber could have remembered their name, it may have been different outcome. As fielding quite close to each other a high, very catchable shot went up, right underneath them, however with both of these elite athletes running at full speed to the ball both of them forgot the need to tell the other one they were coming and with a collision on the cards right up until the very last second when they both released and both stopped the ball fell perfectly between them, the hat was on the move again this time to Milo.

With Bowling changes coming and going and the score becoming a respectable one (don’t worry James “ those Indian spinners didn’t teach you much” Hall I won’t mention your figures) it was time to turn to the fast bowler in the team Darren “ I’ve no idea what I’m going to bowl” Durham to live up to his nickname with lovely and not so lovely bowling, he managed to get the break through with Josh “ dad get out of my way” Donohoe taking a high catch to reduce the visitors to 128-4 of 27. With a respectable looking total on the cards based on the outfield it was time to bring back the death bowlers of Mark “ the reaper” Robinson and Milo “ 666” Darke to finish off the innings and keep the score under 150. What a fantastic job they did with Milo “ first one to make the Bails flash” Darke taking the final wicket with some excellent young (quick)…. ( what James “ Age is catching up with you “ Hall used to do but doesn’t now) bowling. With East Anton setting Inkpen a respectable total of 140 to win, it was time for us to enjoy the first tea of the season brought to us by Darren “ who buys humous for a cricket tea” Durham.

With tea… except the humous being devoured it was time for Inkpen to chase down the target of 140…. You will notice I didn’t say “attempt to chase down” always good to have a positive mental attitude when it comes to us batting. With a new season comes a new open partnership with John “ it’s my birthday can I open please” Donohoe accompanying James “ what school gets to go to India for a cricket tour” Hall attempting to recreate the fantastic starts we got last year. They didn’t disappoint, with the outfield not helping, clearly the new cross fit regime was as JD and JH got off to a fast start reaching 50-0 off 7 overs, however as you all know Inkpen don’t do easy, we like to make games tense and great to watch and this game was no exception. As no sooner had we hit the 50 milestone John “ will blame you getting out on Holly turning up” Donohoe, Mark “ I’ll get the duck award race started early this year” Robinson, Dave “ it was a beautiful four the shot before I got out” Lester and Josh “ don’t worry mark ill join in the race” Donohoe all decided that the game needed a bit of drama reducing Inkpen to 58-4. Enter Ian “ Shhhwing” Dixon to steady the ship alongside the ever-reliable James “ I hate this outfield” Hall. With some excellent shots for none and one being played they managed to drag us to the halfway mark reaching 70-4 off 12 overs.

However once again with the game swinging in Inkpen favour another wicket fell, this time James “ I’ve started to score like Dickie Mitchell” Hall was dismissed by a “simple” catch ( it was a stunner). Enter Graham “I’ve had enough of this tension” Dixon to take the game away from the visitors alongside his brother, not since the Wright brothers have you seen objects fly through the sky like these two made the ball fly, with both brothers taking it to the bowling attack, Graham hit a huge six that no one could see, what everyone could see except Graham “ I’ll do that again” Dixon was that the oppo had set a fielder the very next ball in exactly the spot graham had hit the first six ready to catch, Graham like the kind gentleman he is obliged hitting the very next ball straight down the fielders throat bringing to end a very valuable 13 off 17 ball. 85-6 was the score 140 seemed a long way, were Inkpen going to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory once again. Well like all good captains, this one had a plan I had kept some of the better batsman back for just this scenario, enter Darren “ I’ve only got one shot” Durham who joined Ian “ clearly I’m the better cricketer in the family” Dixon to steer Inkpen to victory…. Well, they would have done if Ian “ no duck award for me this year” Dixon hadn’t decided that on 124-6 he was going to let someone else bring home the glory. That someone would be Russell “ first six for the club” Webber who alongside Darren “ that one shot has done me well” Durham brought Inkpen victory with 7 overs to spare, ensuring that for the first time in the modern history of Inkpen cc we had beaten East Anton and won the first game of the season.

So as the crowds disappeared with record breaking moments firmly placed in their memories and the pub calling us in for quick half, I would like to say thank you to East Anton for a lovely first game and we wish them well for the season and hopefully Inkpen can carry on this newfound way of winning games. With the season expectations firmly altered after this victory we look forward to welcoming Kennet Valley next week and hopefully another close fought encounter.